It's Been A While

Here's what's happened in the past 4-ish weeks:

1. I started working. I actually like my job. It's not stressful, which is a big plus for me. Especially if I plan on working and going to school at the same time. The people I work with are nice and overall, it's a good company.
2. I've lost 58 lbs to date. I bought a whole new wardrobe (mostly for work) and I feel fabulous!! I look pretty good, too :)
3. I finally took my LSAT. It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Which means I'm either smarter than I thought I was or I'm not at all and I did really bad. I'm hoping it's the former.
   
4. I've also started filling out my applications for schools. I'm struggling with my personal statement. I haven't led an interesting life. I'm not a crack baby, I was never homeless, I grew up with both parents in a loving home. I'm not being flip. I just sometimes feel like those are the types of stories schools like to hear about; it's almost like you have to show that you can overcome diversity to handle higher education. Hopefully I can form an essay that doesn't suck.
5. I have a lot of things personally that I need to work out. My instinct is to fight and get revenge, but a little part of me thinks I should let go and let God. I'm going to pray that little part of me gets bigger and I can handle this with class and grace.
   

Happy To Be Me

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!

I AM EMPLOYED AGAIN!

I'm thankful to be alive.

Matthew 6:8

Looks like my funemployment run is over. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, someone finally hired me!

I am beyond excited. I was a little annoyed when the first question out of my mother's mouth was "How much are you making?" Um, more than I'm making now, which is $0. Thanks. Granted, I'm not making as much as I've made in the past, but you know what? I don't even care right now.

I'm excited, it's a good company, there's room for growth, and it fits in well with my plans to go to law school. Oh, and now I can actually go to the doctor without having to exchange a kidney for payment.

Seriously, friends?!? Seriously.

As of the last time I weighed myself, I have lost 42 lbs. Yay me!

So I'm all excited and start grabbing clothes out my closet to try on. I'm giddy, thinking that my pants will fall off me and shirts will look like tents and woo-hoo, shopping spree time. Except I put on my clothes, and they fit. Not only did they fit, but they looked better on me than they had in the past. Which can only mean one thing.

HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME I WAS FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT?

Honestly, people. It's clear from my little fashion show that I was a) bigger than I thought and b) wearing clothes that were too small. Thanks for telling me.

You guys are fired.

T-Minus 30 days

This time next month, I will be taking the LSAT. For which I am non too prepared.

How can that be, you ask? Simple. I am so completely unmotivated, it's not even funny. It's weird. I've wanted to go to law school for as long as I can remember. When most people want something this badly, they work their asses off for it. Why am I not doing that?

Truth be told, there are several schools I could get into without bothering to study. But I don't think they're any schools that I would want to go to. FAMU, for example. They don't have very high standards, as far as the test scores go, for their incoming students. However, the last thing I want to do is stay in FL. I'm not even applying to any schools here because I don't want to get stuck. That's probably not a smart idea but it's what I'm going with for now.

I just hope I can get it together and learn something in the next month or I may very well be stuck in the hell that is Florida.

Ohana

I just got off the phone with my mother and she shared something with me that makes me cry a little. I want to shout it from the rooftops (and facebook) about it, but I think it's still somewhat of a surprise. However, I feel like my blog is a safe place to do it because the chances of the person for whom the surprise is intended for reading my blog is slim to none.

That being said, if my cousin is reading this, keep your mouth shut; your mother doesn't know this is gonna go down. Thanks.

One of my aunts recently found out she had stomach cancer. She had surgery to remove the tumor but will still be undergoing chemo. My mother said that my aunt found out that she will be losing her hair, and my aunt could only cry. My mother and her youngest sister are going to Savannah to be with my aunt and, to show their love and support, are shaving their heads. Not cutting their hair short. Shaving. Bald. Gone.

I think they are amazing and I wish I was going to be there with them.

I Want It All

A few weeks ago, I went to my parents' house for our family reunion. One of my uncles came with his current girlfriend, who happens to work in the entertainment industry. Finally, a way in!!

We got to talking and I told her about my plans for law school and wanting to go into entertainment law, but that I also wanted a job in PR. We exchanged information and she told me about some leads she could start for me. I received a call from her today and her first question was which ranked higher on my list? School or work?

Umm...both?

I honestly don't know which I would choose, if it came down to that. Law school has been a dream of mine since I was a freshman, but I can't pay my hospital bills, doctor bills, credit card bills and student loans with dreams. It seems more important to make money so I can get out of debt. But I don't want to be 50, saying to myself "what if I would've gone to law school?"

Decisions, decisions.

It's That Time of Year Again

I don't get into the Halloween spirit. For one, I don't dress up. I used to, but I had an unfortunate experience at a social and that was it for me. For another, I've always been the fat friend to the slutty cheerleader, cop, girl scout, and whatever else you can make slutty.

Of course, I scoff at them and roll my eyes because really, having your T & A hanging out does not mean you're dressed up. But secretly? I've wanted to be able to do that. I want to go to Fairvilla and get my slutty angel on. And now, with my new skinny self being about a year away, I can do it.

But I'm really not entirely sure if I want to. I'm very much a dress for comfort person. I'd much rather wear jeans and comfy shoes than an LBD and ultra high heels. Or even medium high heels. Strutting my stuff around downtown half nekkid? Not so much me at any size.

To those who can, rock on.

When Did I Get Old?

For the past few years, I've been saying that I can't wait to get out of my 20s and in to my 30s. I feel that decade will be exponentially better and I just want it to happen already.

However, sitting here today I'm REALLY feeling old. It started yesterday, actually, when I went to a sorority event. I'm used to walking in and knowing at least 1/4 of the people in the room. I knew no one (except Kelly, who came with me). Eventually, a few familiar faces showed up but overall, I knew no one. And no one knew who I was. It made me feel sad and a little awkward. I love to help out with my sorority when I can but sometimes I'm scared to because I don't want to be the Al Bundy reliving my glory days. Perhaps I should get involved in an adviser capacity.....

Then, SD had to go to school today. AGAIN. His schedule is insane right now because he's in the final weeks of final project. He's gone for 8-12 hours every day and I just sit here by my lonesome. I thought maybe today he would get a break, but no. Another 8 hr day. But I feel old because instead of getting up and out, I'm just sitting here watching Food Network. Then I thought, well damn, I'm ALWAYS watching Food Network. No joke, I'm like the grandma who, no matter what day or time of day it is, when you come over, she's watching her "stories." Geez Louise. This can't be healthy but I don't know what else to do. It's Orlando, for pete's sake. Not exactly a happening town. I'm so jealous of all the FB statuses today, as most friends are at a festival, on a nature hike, or just being able to wander around their fabulous city and find something to do.

If I had a job, I would have money. If I had money, I would go somewhere...Daytona, Tampa, St. Augustine, anywhere.

Damn the man.

Hallelujah!

Today is the first day I've made it this many hours without being sick.

Small victory, but I'll take it :)

What the Shit?

I am beyond annoyed for the following reasons:

1. Our AC is broken. Has been since Saturday and is supposed to be treated as an emergency when the temp is over 90. Yup. Still broken.
2. I am constantly nauseous and I can't eat anything. No, I'm not pregnant because.....
3. The dreaded monthly intruder has been here going on 13 days. Highly unusual considering I'm on BC and have been forever.
4. But I can't go to the doctor because I don't have any money.
5. My heartburn and reflux is about 100x worse since I had my hernia repaired. If I had known that was going to happen, I wouldn't have done it.
   

I hate life.

Sweet Home...um...Orlando

I'm FINALLY leaving Jacksonville tomorrow. Hallelujah! Tomorrow marks the 11th day I've been here. I know I make it sound as though I've been stranded on an island but that's seriously how I feel. I'm a little sad to leave my mom because I know she's going to have a not so great time for a little while, but I'll be back in a few weeks for our bi-annual family reunion/thanksgiving in October.

I wasn't going to come back for it, but since I haven't seen my sister in 5 years (if not more) I figured it would be a better idea if I was here. Also, she threatened my life if I did not come.

I am looking forward to a plethora of food......

WWFS

I don't have the best relationship with my parents. Not that it's a bad one, but it is strictly a parent-child relationship. When I was younger, I guess their mentality was (and by their, I really mean my dad's) to teach us kids that we are not friends; they are the parents and we are the children.

I would assume most parents start out like that, as not to blur the lines. However, as the child(ren) get older, that relationship is supposed to morph to one of not child and parent, but adult child and parent. Many of my friends talk about being best friends with their parents and that is something that is completely foreign to me. I've used to want that type of closeness with my parents and now, at almost 30, I feel like it's something that won't happen. But I'm oddly okay with that.

Currently, my father is not speaking to me due to recent decisions I've made in my life. He hasn't spoken to me in exactly one week. Actually, that's not true. He's spoken to me 5 times since last Monday. My sister thinks I should apologize to him and at first, I thought so, too. But now I feel like why should I? I will be 28 next month. I am a grown woman and I will continue to make decisions for my life without his approval or permission. If/when SD proposes, I won't call first to make sure I can say yes. I won't call and ask if it's okay to have a baby, or to move to another state, or to do anything else that has to do strictly with my life.

Yesterday, SD asked if my father was driving me crazy yet and I told him he hasn't been speaking to me. SD asked if him not speaking to me was better than him speaking to me and I said yes, it was. How sad is it when someone says that your silent treatment is better than actual conversation with you?

What would Freud say?

I'm Back. For now.

So turns out there has been a big change in my life and it's pretty exciting. I know, it's a tease to say that and then not share, but whatever. I'll do what I want. LOL. However, those of you that read this and are in on the secret, thanks for keeping it to yourselves.

I'm currently in Jacksonville at my parents' house and the fact that I am unable to sleep in one of my least favorite cities in the world.....well, let's just say I'm not happy. Why don't I just leave? Yeah, good question. Also part of the secret, so I'll just say "I can't."

I'm not able to take the LSAT this month, which is kind of a bummer, but I also didn't study as much as I should have, so it's kind of a good thing. I've signed up to take the one in December, but that's cutting it close. I've been really buckling down so hopefully I'll do well. I was all about going to MSU Law because I've always wanted to go there. But nooooow, Brooklyn Law is making a strong comeback.

You might be thinking, "um, remember that time you went to NY?" And yes, I do. I feel like this time would be different. I'm a strong believer in "everything happens for a reason" and I believe that everything has a time and a place. Maybe last time wasn't really my time and I was trying to force it to be. Maybe this time is. But I won't know until I go. Plus, being there for school is different than being there all willy nilly. I'd have a purpose and a guaranteed place to live for at least my first year. Which is part of the school's appeal. MSU doesn't have that. FAIL. I NEEEED to live north of Florida. I am so jealous of everyone and their fall clothes and pumpkin spice lattes.

Which we obviously have in FL, but how much fun is it to wear a super cute sweater and boots and sip hot lattes in 80 degree weather?

Adios

Bye for now. My life is boring now and since my blog was about my life, it is boring, too.

I'll be back when shit picks up.

Mr. Telephone Man, There's Something Wrong with my Line

I mean, there's gotta be because my phone has not been ringing with any jobs offers. This has never happened to me before; I've ALWAYS been able to get a job. We can blame it on the economy, but really, I don't think that's entirely true. On any given day, I can check facebook and another friend is talking about an interview they are going on or a new job they are about to start. So really, it's not that companies aren't hiring, it's that they're not hiring me.

It seems to be about who you know and not WHAT you know. If I was one of the fortunate ones to have some awesome connections, I'd be thinking that this was a great thing. But alas, I am not.

The two most annoying question I get asked are:

1. "are you actively looking for a job?" Ummm no. I'm not. I've been hoping that an HR manager will get a sign from God that Danielle is looking for a job. A burning bush, perhaps, or frogs raining from the sky. No active participation on my part required.
   
2. "are you applying for ones that you are qualified for?" Nope. I'm only applying for the CEO position with Sony Music. Everything else is beneath me.

Clearly, I am looking for pretty much anything that will pay me in American monies. Now, do I want to work the graveyard shift at 7-11 for $8.50/hour? No. Obviously I need a job that makes it worth my while to get up and go to. Meaning, I need a job that will let me pay my bills. But am I above being a secretary? Not at all.

In conclusion, I am still looking for a job. Holler.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I am about to make the biggest change of my life. I've kept it to myself for a while and will continue to do so until I feel that people will accept my decision. Notice I said accept and not understand. My head feels like it's going to split open when I think of how hard I've tried to make others understand where I'm coming from and now I'm at the point in my life that I just don't care anymore. I don't care if you understand, I don't care if you agree. But I at least need them to respect what I've decided.

The time has come, the walrus said.

Namaste

I really feel like maybe I should start doing yoga or perhaps meditating. Lately, I've been getting really irritated with people. I wouldn't say that it's for no reason, but maybe I should learn to let things go. At least, that's what my mom keeps telling me.

That's not my nature, though. While I do know how to choose my battles, there are some things that irk the hell out of me and I just can't let it go. Like a few days ago when my brother asked me how my job search was going. First of all, that's just annoying. Am I still unemployed? Okay then. That should be an indication of how it's going. What really pissed me off is when he said "I bet a masters in psychology is looking really good right now."

Actually, it's not. Yes. 10 YEARS AGO I want to be a psychologist. However, I have since changed my mind so whyyyyyy would I get an advanced degree in something I don't wish to make my career? Exactly. It bothers me to no end when people are basically telling me that what I choose to do now is not good enough or not a good decision. Which I expressed to him and that should be the end of it. However, I can't stop thinking about how annoying that moment was. That's how it's been lately with a lot of different situations. It'd be one thing if I held my feelings in and let them fester, but I don't. I make them quite known but I still can't let it go.

I might need something stronger than yoga. A lobotomy, perhaps.

You Look Kinda Cute in that Polka Dot Bikini Giiiiiirl

I am not ashamed to admit that I am beyond excited that Jersey Shore is back. I may be one of the hundreds that saw the very first episode and wished I could get back those 2 hours of my life. However, I continued to watch and am now completely Team GTL. If I had to rank them in favorite order, it would be:

1. Snooki
2. Pauly D
3. Situation
4. J-Wow
5. Ronnie
6. Sammi
7. Vinnie
8. Angelina

I don't even really like Angelina, but since she's there (for now) I figured I would include her. I wonder how long it will be before she leaves again? And, I'd like to say, the ONLY reason she came back is because she saw how well they did the first time around and was definitely kicking herself for being an idiot.

Between studying for the LSAT and applying for jobs, I have A LOT of time for television watching. Consider that a warning because my blog is about to include a lot more entries about Danielle and her craziness, Teresa and whether or not she is actually bankrupt, whether or not Preston and Ryan will ever get along, and figuring out the correct way to pronounce Jemmey's name.

Just As I Suspected

My blog is less interesting because my life is now less interesting.

Blah.

What the Mel?!?

So I've been catching snippets of Mel Gibson's rants towards his soon-to-be ex. Normally, I don't really care about things outside of trying to find a job right now, but has he LOST. HIS. MIND?!?

Forget the 23 F-bombs he dropped in a recently released message. Forget about the racial slurs and calling her the c-word. Whyyyyy did he think it was a good idea to leave evidenc? You wanna yell at her? Go right ahead. But two things: never write anything down and never leave anything in a message.

Does he even have a publicist anymore? I can't imagine anyone wanting to attempt to clean up this mess.

I wasn't a fan of the Lethal Weapon series anyway.

Stuck in a Moment and I Can't Get Out of It

I dread getting up every day. That might sound slightly suicidal, but I assure you, I am not.

Every day is the same. I get up, make SD coffee, he goes to school, I jump on the computer, and then spend the rest of the day watching t.v. and looking for jobs. I never go anywhere because 1) why waste gas and 2) even if I drive somewhere, I have no money to do anything. Some less enlightened friends of mine seem to think I'm living the life. Uh, no. Not having money is not living the life. Being confined to the house is not living the life. It's not unlike being in a supermax prison; for about 23 hours a day, I'm stuck inside. I can't even get a hobby because most hobbies require some form of payment.

So again, let me be perfectly clear. I am not living the Real Housewives life. Being taken care of is not all it's cracked up to be. I hope I don't sound ungrateful because I'm quite aware of how blessed I am, but there's something about being able to take care of yourself that provides a real sense of security. God forbid something happens to SD, or we don't work out, or anything, and talk about being SOL. I don't even know what I would do and that scares the crap out of me.

Did I mentioned I'm so bored I've started having conversations with myself? Out loud. Yeah, it's that bad. Sigh.

Back from Hiatus

My trip to Vegas was absolutely amazing!! I am so grateful that, even unemployed, I was able to go and see all my friends. Looking back at everyone's pictures, I would have been so jealous and depressed had I not gone. Luckily, no one got arrested and there were no jungle cats in the bathroom, but it was still a kick ass time. I actually cried a little the day I left because for 4 days, I got to feel 17 again and was surrounded by my best friends. I actually feel a little sorry for people who didn't get to have the same high school experience as I did. I graduated with 95-120 people (the numbers are still unclear) so we were a pretty tight knit group. Even those that I didn't really spend a lot of time with during our days on the island, walked up a greeted me with a huge smile and a bear hug. Not to sound like a cheeseball but you really could feel the love in the room. I can't explain enough how amazing it was to see everyone. We (well, I and some other close friends) have decided 10 years is entirely too long to wait for the next one, so we're probably going to plan a 5 year one. Although, there are talks about a cruise reunion for next year. THAT'S how exited we are to see each other again.

However, let me tell you about my trip flying to Vegas. SD made me late to the airport on Thursday and by the time I got there, it was too late to check my bags on Delta, so I couldn't take that flight. I was put on the next flight out, which was at 12:40, and I had to pay for it. Then, that plane was late and didn't get in until 1:30pm. Which was bad because I had a connecting flight in Memphis that left at 2:30. I didn't get to Memphis until 3-ish and had to take ANOTHER later flight that didn't even leave Memphis until 7:20pm. I can't even begin to describe how angry I was. All I could do was cry each time a ticket agent told me to take a later flight. My tears, however, got me upgraded to first class from Memphis to Vegas. Once my plane FINALLY got to Memphis and I'm all comfy and excited in first class b/c I've only ever flown coach, a woman and her EFFING TODDLER sit next to me. She was a talker, too. Even when I picked up my book, making it clear that communication was over, she kept yammering. My favorite part was when she asked me if I could watch her child while she went to the bathroom. Really?!? No, I can't, because if she continues to try to climb into the aisle and screams when I stop her, I'm letting her go.

By the time I finally got to Vegas and checked in to my hotel, it was almost 11pm. I was supposed to be there at 1:30pm. Needless to say, I was done speaking to SD while I was there because I needed the entire 4 days to calm down...well, now it was down to 3 days. But then he had a heart attack (like, a real one) so I had no choice but to forgive him and speak to him again. Still not happy about it, but I'm glad he's alive and thankful that he didn't die with me being pissed at him.

Stay Tuned

I'm back from Vegas :(

My body hasn't caught up with things yet, but as soon as it does, I will be doing an actual post.

Next Stop, Vegas Please

On Thursday, I'm going to Vegas for my 10 yr reunion. In the weeks leading up to this, I was super excited, but now I'm getting more nervous. For most people attending their reunions, things are maybe a bit different. They have probably run into old high school buddies a few times since graduating. Hell, most of them went on to become college roommates. I, however, went to high school in Japan. Who have I seen since then? No one. And I look a lot different now.

Initially, my plan was to lose some weight so I could feel confident about strolling into the banquet dinner. Then, as time got closer and closer, I pretty much just stopped trying. I kept telling myself it didn't really matter. I do, after all, already have a boyfriend so it's not like I'm going to rekindle any romances or hook up with some Thunder from Down Under. What I should have been telling myself is I want to feel comfortable in my skin and that's why it does matter. Instead, I've done it again. Another year has gone by and I've done nothing to improve my health, appearance, or self-esteem.

Le sigh.

Hola. Soy su abogado.

As mentioned, I have finally gotten the balls to take the LSAT. I decided to take a practice test to determine where my weakest points were, and that way I wouldn't was time studying things that I was already pretty good at. Turns out, I suck equally in all categories.

Awesome.

After taking my practice test and entering my score into a handy, dandy score analyzer, the only place I can get into school is in Puerto Rico. I realize it was only a practice test and that with adequate studying, I am likely to bring that score up. However, I can't seem to find any time to study. You might be thinking, well you don't work so what else are you doing?

Turns out, my internship is a lot more time consuming than I originally thought it would be. When I was actually going to the office, I only had to go 3 days a week. Now that I'm doing it from home, I think my boss wants me to work everyday. Mainly, I do research for whatever campaign we're currently working on, but that involves HOURS of Internet searching. And by hours, I mean upwards of 8 of them. Yeah. That long. After searching through pages and pages and pages of Google, Twitter and the like, the last thing I want to do is 3-4 hours of studying.

Le sigh.

Figuring Out What to Do with Life. Take 2.

If you've been following along, you know that my Bright Lights, Big City dream didn't pan out the way I planned. Now I'm on to the next step in my life.

Taking the LSAT.

This is something I have been saying I was going to do ever since I graduated. Wayyyyy back in 2005. I've never done it because I've always had this fear of failing it miserably, and then what? It's kind of like the ace in my pocket, or whatever that saying is. I've done and tried everything else and law school is kind of a last resort. Well, not really a last resort, but it's the one thing I feel I have left to try before it's like, okay, you've used up all your options.

So there you go.

I'm already overwhelmed at all the school possibilities. I know that I want to do either entertainment law or civil rights law, but that's about all I've got right now. Oh, and the test is in October, so I should probably do less blogging and more studying? Yeah. Good idea.

Another thing I will be embarking on is finding ways to make my life more interesting in general. One thing I thought about when leaving NYC was that my blog would slowly become less interesting and funny because I'm in a less interesting and funny environment right now. A friend told me she would follow my blog anyway because I'm funny, and I told her that I view myself as situationally funny, at best (which I'm not even sure is a word, but you get what I mean). So nooooow, I have to put myself in situations to get good writings. First on the list, go to some of the companies I've applied to and talk to them in person.

This could either be a really good thing or a really bad thing. I'll let you know.

Confirmation

Since I got home, I've been catching up on all the episodes of my favorite shows that I missed. One of them happens to be The City. With every episode, I felt a little twinge of....not regret, but I don't know what the word is that I'm looking for. It's kind of like when you've been admiring a cute boy/girl from afar and when you finally get up the courage talk to them, you realize a major flaw, like lack of intelligence or one eye. THAT feeling is what I had.

Then I was in Publix last night and as I was walking down an aisle, a random guy smiled at me and said hi.

That? Right there? Is what I've been missing.

Completely the right decision.

Well, That Was Short

How many of you just thought "that's what she said"? Don't lie.

Anyway, it's been a little while since my last entry and a few things have changed since then. First, since I didn't do it Monday, here is my list of things I'm learning in New York:

1. People here LOOOOVE their dogs. I can't turn around without tripping over one. From what I've seen, the dogs of choice are Yorkies and French Bulldogs.
2. Getting off of a train that is too crowded and waiting for the next one because, surely, that one will be less crowded? DOES. NOT. WORK.
3. New Yorkers that have to walk with newbies get grouchy. I'm sorry. I'm not used to walking 500 miles.
   
4. Although those jeweled sandals that are all the rage right now are super cute and a good item to have, unless you have hardened NY feet, they are not conducive to walking long distances. Or short distances, if I'm being completely honest.
   
5. The only thing that makes a NY hot dog a NY hot dog is the water it's cooked in.
6. Sweating is okay. Everyone is doing it.
7. Not every place takes debit. Most people might be thinking "well, duh" but for someone like me, who almost never carries cash, this took some getting used to.
8. Cabs have a minimum speed of 80 mph.
9. No one actually waits for the crosswalk to turn green. It's basically a giant game of Frogger that everyone is playing.
10. And the most important thing I've learned is that although New York is an amazing city to visit, it's not the place for me to live.

Which brings me to today. I have returned to Orlando 2 weeks earlier than anticipated. I didn't once doubt that I needed to come back home, but I did doubt when I should return. Initially, I felt that I should maybe wait it out until it was time for me to go to Vegas. However, I ultimately decided it wasn't necessary. Many people have asked (and will probably continue to ask) how do you know already? Don't you think you should give it more time? What about it don't you like?

The list of answers to those questions is pretty long and, quite frankly, I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. The best (and shortest) way to sum it up is this: when you know something is (or isn't) right, you know. I think most people are as in tune to their emotions as I am, but they allow other things to influence their decisions. Me, not so much. And come on. How many people do you know that constantly say they want to try something and wish they could go somewhere, and do nothing about it?

Veni, vidi, not so vici, but I tried.

Stop This Train/ I Want to Get Off and Go Home Again

That plays in my head every time I step into the subway. The whole song doesn't fit how I feel, just that line.

It's pretty late and I should be sleeping but 1) I have to wait up for SD to call me and 2) I can't sleep when I'm upset, so writing it down should help.

I am SICK AND TIRED of people trying to tell me what to do. I have pretty much decided that after I leave NYC for Vegas, I will not be returning. Yes, I've only been here a little over a week, but so what? I know in my heart what's right for me and what's not and, really, that's all that matters. I mean, I know I don't like cooked broccoli. Do I need to eat it for 3 months to know for sure? No.

Okay, so maybe broccoli isn't on the same level. Then let's compare it to a relationship. I knew within the first few weeks of being with SD that this was something I wanted to stick around for. Should I have waited 6 months and then made that decision? No, because it's not necessary. People process thoughts and emotions differently and I'm sorry that I can do so faster than you. Actually, that's not true. I'm not sorry.

I have shared these thoughts (the ones about not returning) with a few people before writing this post and I was met with mixed reactions. Some had the nerve to say that I was only going back for SD, or that I need to stay here for a year or so to really get the feel of it. First of all, no. I am not going back FOR HIM. Do I miss him? We all know the answer to that. HOW.EV.ER. Orlando is home to me. Or I should say it's the closest thing to home for me, considering I spent the last 8 years of my life there (the rest were spent moving somewhere new every 3 years). So even if he weren't there, that's where I would be going. Second of all, I find it amusing that this is coming from the same people whose first question when I decided to come to NY was "what about SD?" Sooooo.....I should have been considering him and his feelings when moving away from him, but going back should only be about me? Where is the concern for him now? Oh. Okay. That's what I thought.

Even if none of that were true and my decision to not stay in NY was completely and utterly based on wanting to be with him, IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. Sure, you're entitled to your opinion but if you only have negative things to say, keep it to yourself.

To those people, I say: "Bitter, party of one. Your table is ready."

I will admit, I toyed with the idea of staying because of lame reasons like I don't want people to think I'm a quitter or that I'm giving up. I keep having to remind myself that I'm not doing anything for anyone but myself. The only people's opinions I care about are my mom's, my dad's, and SD's. Anyone else can go fly a kite.

Another thing that I mention (and it gets overlooked) is that staying here is dependent upon getting a paying job. If I don't have one, whether or not I want to stay will be irrelevant. I have applied to NBC and CNN here in the city and we'll see what happens. Will I feel the same way about my decision in 22 days? Probably. Is there a slim possibility that could change? Always. But the way I can tell this is the right decision is that I have no inner turmoil about it (starting a sentence with a conjunction still kills me, but sometimes I can't help it). I'm not going back and forth asking myself "what if?" and whether or not I am sure. Getting a good job here is the only thing that will make me stay.

I also have a lot to say about my internship as well, but I think I've done enough raving for the night.

Things I'm Learning in New York

I'm currently sitting in JP's apartment with my leg elevated and iced, as per her orders. I've been complaining about my knee since yesterday so now she made me do it. It's the personal trainer/nurse/mother in her :)

Anyways, today marks the completion of my first week in the city. If you've read my previous posts, you know those were some rough times. However, I hit a turning point on Saturday and since then I haven't cried once. Yay me! I do still miss SD like crazy, but I don't feel like I want to jump off a building anymore.

I did a little exploration yesterday with a friend from Orlando, JS. It was AWESOME because I finally had someone to get excited about things with. Okay, not so much with, but at least he didn't think I was retarded for wanting to take a picture of the Home Alone 2 hotel. We wandered through Central Park, went to the Apple store on 5th, and then to FAO Schwarz (notice the absence of the "T"). We also happened upon this A-MAZ-ING hole in the wall Japanese place that 100% reminded me of Okinawa. I wish I had my camera cord because, yes, I took pictures of my noodles. All in all, yesterday was a good day.

Each day that I'm here, I learn something new. I thought it would be too much to write an everyday post about it, so this week begins a new series of posts: Things I'm Learning in New York. Expect an update every Monday.

Ahem.

1. Contrary to popular belief, one must NOT always have to look like they know where they are going to avoid getting mugged (hear that, MOM?!?). I make sure I check the subway routes before I leave, but I still get to the train and see no less than 5 people checking out the maps down there.
2. Smiling at random people is not encouraged. I might even say it's frowned upon. I can't help it though. I'm Southern.
3. People can tell I'm not a native because of said smiling.
   
4. Even when walking as far to the right of the sidewalk as I can, people will still zoom up behind me and sigh impatiently as they wait for me to speed up. Since a lot of them don't drive, maybe they are not familiar with the fact that slower traffic keeps right.
5. People here are not as mean as the movies make them out to be. Rather, everyone is just so focused on what they have to do that they block everyone else out.
   
6. One of the great things about this city is that you can talk to yourself, out loud, on the street and no one bats an eyelash. I know because I've done it.
7. Same thing goes for dancing. Helloooooo, Canned Heat!
   
8. Almost everyone carries a camera. I was apprehensive about whipping mine out every time I saw something cool, so this makes me feel much better.
9. Stores still close early on Sundays.
10. Not all New York pizza is good pizza.
    

Things are Looking Up

Yesterday was a much better day than all the ones before it. Not once did I cry thinking about how lonely I was. I finally didn't feel ALL ALONE. I don't know if it was from good conversation with MS, or my Skype session with SD (and yes, all clothes were on. dirty minds.) but I woke up yesterday thinking, "today will be a good day." Some might say it was the power of suggestion that made it such, but I disagree. I mean, if that were the case, then you could also say that the days I felt like deep fried poo were ones that I woke up saying "today will be shitastic. I will cry all day." Whatever the case, I'm just glad I'm better.

I spent all day yesterday with JP and her friends. We went to a couple cute little bars, ate, moved locations, ate again, and then finally headed home. This is one thing I can definitely put in the "pro" column for staying: we were out, literally, all day. We left around 1ish and got back home at 10:30ish. Can you do that in Orlando? No, because I've tried. That's the main thing that drove me crazy back home. I could sit in the house all day for 5 days a week. Not cool.

Today, I'm meeting up with a fellow Full Sailor, JS, who also just got to the city this week. I'm excited to have someone here who is sharing what I'm going through.

And p.s. I swear, I have not stopped sweating since I got here. Trust me when I say it's hot and slightly uncomfortable. I know heat, I'm a Floridian.

Alllll Byyyyy MyyyySeeeelf

This was quite possibly the most trying week of my life. And by week, I mean 5 days, but who's counting? I have cried no less than twice a day, everyday, since I've been here. For those of you that really know me, you can see how serious that is.

Much of it has to do with stress. I don't really have a place to live, I don't have a paying job (yet), and the biggest thing of all is I'm here by myself. It sucks majorly. Yes, I do have many acquaintances living here, but everyone is busy with their own lives and can't drop everything just because I'm here now. Nor do I expect them to. I miss SD so much, I don't even know what to do with myself. I can't even really enjoy myself because what fun is it experiencing something new with no one to share it with? I tried wandering around yesterday by myself, and while I felt like I should be in awe of everything going on around me, I just wasn't that into it. I wound up going back to my friend's apartment. And crying. I'm at the point where I have to skip songs on my iPod because all they do it make me think of him. Alicia Keys, most of John Mayer, some of Josh Kelley and the entire Sleep Through the Static album.....that wipes out at least 60% of my music.

Or maybe (as a friend pointed out tonight) now just isn't the right time for me to be here. But if not now, when? I have no kids, I'm not married, and the only person I have to take care of is myself. Now seemed like a pretty good time to me. Then again, as the same friend said, the city isn't for everyone. I think I may fall into that category. It's funny how quickly things change. Whether or not I return to NYC after I get back from Vegas is up in the air right now.

I won't even get started on how I feel like a failure at work. I did do one thing right, though. I had to cry, so I went outside.

I think maybe tomorrow I'll give sightseeing another try.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I've only been in the city for 2 1/2 days, and already I'm feeling overwhelmed. My thoughts are all over the place and I hardly know which one to talk about first, so I'll just start at the beginning.

Monday

- I arrive at the airport, fully expecting my cousin (RJ) to be there because she's known for about a week and a half that I was coming. she calls to ask me to take a cab to her place b/c there was "too much traffic and I didn't want to make you wait." Traffic? So that means you waited till the last minute to try to leave to pick me up? Or wait. No, you must have been on the bus and saw all the traffic ahead of you. At which point you got off the bus and went back home? Oh, you mean you never even bothered leaving your house? Yeah, I got it.
- I get to my RJ's apt. and get yelled at by the cab driver because my cousin is taking too long to come downstairs and he's blocking traffic. Can't get out yet because he wants his money and my cousin is the one paying for it. I have to yell at her to hurry the hell up.
- Apartment is what I expected for NY (and for my cousin): small, dark, slightly ghetto.
- RJ's daughter comes home from school to inform her that the woman from whom she is subleasing her apartment (C) doesn't want her there anymore, is tired of her being there and sleeping in her bed and watching her cable (her words). RJ decides she needs to get to the bottom of this.
- I'm super hungry at this point but is there food in the house? So RJ comes downstairs with me to get pizza. At which point she asks me if I can buy her daughter a slice, too. Sigh. Annnnnd it starts. I don't know if I've mentioned this in a previous post, but one of the reasons I did not want to stay with family is because they are quick to ask "can I borrow $____". But fine, I do it because what am going to do? Eat in front of my cousin while she's hungry? No. Then, RJ asks if I have any money and I tell her no. At which point she asks if I need to go to the bank. I told her no, I'd be okay until later to get some. Turns out she wasn't asking for me, she wanted to "hold" $20 to go to the store. So I told her, nope, sorry, I have no money. She then proceeds to ask for my change from the pizza to go to the store. After giving it to her (against my better judgment) she asks no less than 4 more times if I have another $1.
- C and her daughter come to the apartment and decide to spend the night. Now, I don't know how subleasing works in NYC, but in FL, the owner of said sublet DOES NOT LIVE IN THE APARTMENT WHILE LEASING IT OUT TO SOMEONE ELSE. I don't usually like to call people ghetto, but C is as ghetto as the day is long. I knew immediately I would not be staying there for the duration of my stay. I made a million phone calls and sent message and finally found someplace else to stay.
- Icing on the Monday cake: C washes her daughter's shirt and hangs it to dry. Over the gas stove. With the burners on. ALL NIGHT. Smart, right?

Tuesday

- Went to my internship interview. I was very proud of myself for not getting lost on the subway. I got the internship!! I then headed to meet my grandfather and we did some walking around on Canal St.
- After leaving my grandfather, I headed to RJ's apartment. She wasn't there, but told me she would be home in 30 mins. 2 hours later, she finally gets there.
- I am LIVID
- I tell her I'm going to stay with a friend. She seems a little upset, but too bad.

Wednesday

- I wake up in a non-hood apartment and head out to my first day. I thought I was doing this great job, until I discover I was doing it wrong. As a result, I was at work until about 7. I finally get back to my friend's (JP) apartment and am ready to crash. Instead, JP and I drank sake, went out for sushi, drank MORE sake, at which point i threw up and went to bed. Awesome : /

Thursday (today)

- I attempted to sleep in while JP went to work, but I got up at the crack of dawn anyway. JP and I went out for pizza and then she left to go to her bf's apartment. My plan was to do a little exploration, but instead I cried on the phone to SD. I miss him so much, it hurts. And it makes being here a little less fun. Sure, I'm in the amazing city and there's so much to do and see, but it's no fun if I have no one to share it with and to get excited with when I find something new. It's not even just SD, it's not having ANYONE. I have a friend and many acquaintances that live here, but everyone works so I'm still by myself. It makes me miss home and I've cried for a good part of the day. A friend of mine told me that I should wait until the weekend and then see how I feel. In the same breath, she asked when I was coming home because she can hear it in my voice. She was joking, but she's not the only person to say that. When I talked to my dad, he said I don't sound excited to be here and that I'm not the same bubbly person on the phone as I usually am.

Maybe they're right. Maybe this dream is not for me.

First Full Day in NYC

I arrived yesterday evening around this time, thus bringing me to my first full day. Last night was pretty rocky, I'm not gonna lie. If there are any Kappas reading this and you're in NYC, please check your LinkedIn discussions. I posted a new one.

Anyways, I had an interview with an internet marketing company today and (yay for me!) I got it. I start tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about this. Although it is unpaid so I will have to be finding a part-time job, I couldn't be more excited right now. This will be my first experience working with something related to my degree. Plus, the office is pretty sweet. They have an old school Nintendo. I know. I got stoked about it, too.

Afterward, I went to visit my grandfather at his job and we walked around Canal St. in search for the perfect bag. I didn't find a perfect one, but I found one that will do. I'd post a picture, but it's really not all that glamorous.

I'll be moving to new (temporary) living quarters tonight and I'm not sure if I'll have internet access there. But I'll definitely try to make it to a cafe or something because I need to get more into depth of my night from hell aka why you should NEVER stay with family.

I'm So Excited! I'm So Excited! I'm So......Scared!

As you can see, I'm having myself a bit of a Jessie Spano freak out moment. I leave tomorrow for New York and I've got a bowling ball sized knot in my stomach. I thought I would feel different. Excited, maybe, or even anxious. I don't think I feel either of those things. Mainly, I don't want to leave SD. I know I'll be back next month, but that's only for a few days until I go to Vegas.

It also makes me nervous to not know what's going to happen once I return from Vegas. If I don't have a job or the promise of one, I might be stuck in Orlando until further notice.

I'm also jealous that I won't be watching True Blood. We don't have HBO, but I saw the first season on Netflix. The second season JUST became available. Ugh.

This Much to do, thismuch time

I finally leave tomorrow to start my NYC adventure. I still have so much to do because, of course, I waited until the last minute. It didn't seem like that much prepping needed to happen but I was wrong on that one. I haven't even begun to pack, there are still toiletry items I need to pick up, some clothes, and I'm still on the hunt for what I'm referring to as the "perfect New York bag." I am going to admit something which will probably get my woman card suspended: I'm not a fan of purses, handbags, clutches, etc. I use them because I would look silly carrying everything in my pockets, but I'm very particular about the comfort they provide me. My purse must fit neatly under my arm and the straps tightly on my shoulder. I won't stand for them slipping down all the time. However, for some reason, I feel the need for an across the body, large carrying space type of bag. I've never been to NYC without my mother and when with her, she would always take cabs. I won't be raking in that kind of dough (yet) so I'm going to need a bag that can accommodate a change of shoes. I can't very well tromp around the concrete jungle with heels on. Plus, I hate heels.

Which reminds me, I also need to find a new pair of ballet flats. I'm working on packing things that I can wear a million different times with different outfits, to avoid having a 200lb bag. The flats are wonderful because I can wear them with dresses, jeans, and work attire, with the added bonus on not teetering around on sticks.

Walmart, Target, Payless, Lane Bryant, Ross.

Oy. My head hurts just thinking about it.

Start Spreading the News

I finally let the rest of my world i.e Facebook friends, in on my NYC travel. Initially, I wasn't going to; I was just going to text those people I felt needed to be in the know. When I realized how many people that was, I just went to cyberworld. The reaction? Exactly as I thought it would be.

Most people just wanted to wish me well, as this is something I have been wanting to do for quite some time. Then there were those who, although we don't spend a lot of time together, all of a sudden want to make sure we meet up before I leave. Really? I already haven't seen you in about 6 months, so why does it matter?

But the biggest annoyance of all were those who wanted to know how I was going to afford this. That is definitely on my pet peeve list. Honestly, I wanted to say "it's none of your damn business" but instead I kept it classy. For pete's sake. I think it's extremely tacky to ask people how they are affording something or how much they spent on something. I would NEVER do that. Have I wondered sometimes about friends that are always traveling but unemployed? Of course. Do I ask them? Absolutely not.

Common sense really isn't that common.

I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now

I WISH:

1. I was more involved in my sorority. I've never been to Convention or Leadership Academy, but I'd really like to know what goes on there.
2. I spent less time being unhappy with my looks and more time embracing my good qualities.
   
3. I had done more things on my own when I was younger. Maybe then at 27 I wouldn't be terrified to venture out on my own.
4. I worked out more.
5. I had a job/steady source of income. I haven't been able to support myself for a while, and it's really making me depressed.
6. I had a hobby.
7. I was more creative.
8. I had a talent. So many of my friends are dancers, singers, musicians, artists, photographers, writers, poets.....the list goes on.
   
9. Soap Net would decide when they are going to play re-runs of OTH. First it's at 3 and 4, then it's at 2 and 3. PICK A TIME!
10. I had gone to law school right after graduating with my Bachelors.
    
11. I was more motivated to study for the LSATs now.
12. I could land an amazing job working in PR for MTV or Sony.
13. I was less scared and more excited about going to New York.
14. I had an easier time saying I'm sorry. There are quite a few people that need to hear it.
15. I woke up everyday thinking "today is going to be a good day."
16. I had a pit bull and a Yorkie.
17. My hair would grow. I didn't realize how much it didn't grow until my boyfriend pointed out that he had known me a year and it was the same length as when we met. I hate having to wear weaves and fake ponytails.
18. I didn't dwell on the past so much.
    
19. I dressed better. I recently cleaned out my closet and I was very sad when I saw what was left. I own one LBD. ONE. Uno. If I get invited to a lunch, networking event, or anywhere that requires dressing in anything other than jeans, I'm screwed.
20. I was as confident as I let people think I am.
    

I Want to Be a Part of It!

As you may have noticed, my blog is newadventuresofolddanielle. I created it in hopes of actually having new adventures and it has come to pass. Next Monday, I will be heading to New York City!! I have dreamed of moving there for as long as I can remember but figured it might be better to test the waters first. I will admit, though, that I'm equal parts scared and excited.

I know several people who currently live there and they love every minute of it. They go on about how there is so much to do and see, the people are nice, etc. etc. My mother, however, paints quite a different picture. Normally, I would chalk it up to her being worried about her baby girl but she was born and raised in the city, so she's speaking from experience. She had quite a lot to say about how to avoid dangers. In a nutshell, I am to:

1. act like I know where I'm going and what I'm doing at all times
2. don't ask anyone for help, unless it is a cop or a bus driver
3. if someone tries to talk to me, give them a look that let's them know "bad idea"

She repeated over and over again how New Yorkers don't let anyone get close to them because you never know if they're just trying to find a way in to kill you. Geez Mom, thanks. I think there are two different types of New York. There is the city my mom is from: 125th street area, Harlem, bums sleeping in the stairway, etc. Then there is "The City" type city: upscale, clean(ish), friendly people and safety.

I want to go to that New York. I want to enjoy my stay, soak everything in, and not fear for my life. It probably doesn't help that when I was 11 and visiting my grandmother in NYC, I saw a man get stabbed across the street.

Dear Old Navy......

For those of you who don't know me, I am a fat girl. Indeed, I prefer the phrase plus sized woman, but really, let's call a spade a spade. That's makes it extremely hard to find clothes because there are very few stores that cater to our sizes. The ones that do tend be on the expensive side and, given my current state of unemployment, not so much within the budget. Type in "plus sized clothing" in Google, and you'll come up with a list of stores that sells sizes 14+, but only online. Enter Old Navy. Here is a letter I wrote them:

Dear Old Navy,

I am a huge fan of your clothes and I was extremely excited when the
company launched it's Women's Plus line. Finally! I can get good quality
clothes, in my size, without having to break the bank. I live in
Orlando, FL and the only ON store that had plus sizes in its section was
at the Florida Mall. While the mall was a good 30-35 minute drive, I was
willing to make it for your clothes. So imagine my dismay when I arrive
at the store one day to find the plus size section missing. What?!? This
cannot be! When I asked a (less than helpful) employee what happened to
it, she explained to me that the higher ups at ON decided that the
clothes for "those people" will only be sold online.

My question to you is, why? Why make things harder for plus sized women
and men to find clothes than it already is for us? Let's be clear. I
loathe online shopping. Why do I loathe it, you may be asking. Let me
explain to you why. Going to a store allows me the opportunity to try on
clothes and find what fits, what doesn't, what looks good, and what
looks better on the hanger. Clearly, all of that is lost when shopping
in cyberworld. Although I may be writing an email for myself, I can
assure you that I speak for hundreds of plus sized people. I read a
quote somewhere from Robin Carr, a spokeswoman for Gap. She said " We
really wanted to showcase the Plus collection and felt the best place to
do that effectively was online." Really? Online shopping is a crap
shoot. You see it, you buy it, you get it and you hope it fits
correctly. As we all know, different companies cut their sizes in
different ways. What may be a 14/16 at Lane Bryant, might be an 18/20
somewhere else. So when it doesn't fit, you then have to gauge whether
you should go up a size, down a size, or keep it and have it tailored.
If you need a new size, you have to repackage everything, take time out
to go to the post office, mail it, wait for it to get back to ON,
re-order, wait for it to get there, and hope that this time it fits. I
don't know about your definition of effective, but this process isn't
it.

The last I checked, overweight people made up a high percentage of
Americans. While it is a sad statistic, I would think that would
translate into more money for your company. You may be thinking that
since we don't have many options to begin with, we're forced to buy from
you online so you're not really losing anything but forcing us out of
your stores. Which would be true, if you all had a monopoly on the plus
sized industry. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, you don't.

The overweight community is not stupid. We are quite aware that we don't
fit in the "Gap mold" and that is probably a truer reason as to why our
section is no longer offered in store. Sorry that we are ruining the
scenery, but would you rather us walk around naked? Be forced to walk
around in ill fitted clothes? Although I don't want to shop at Lane
Bryant because of its expensive price tags, I do so because at least I
know that when I buy something, it will fit and I'll like the way it
looks on me. I have a feeling I'm not alone in this.

Perhaps your marketing department can get together and re-think this
decision. I'm not saying you need to revamp all 175 stores that the
clothes were pulled out of. Start with a few test stores to see how it
works out. If you're in need of more people to join your marketing team,
I do have a masters degree in entertainment business. I've developed and
presented a business plan for my business, which I built from the ground
up. Many of my classes focused on marketing and branding and I graduated
with a 3.8 GPA.


Missing the plus section,
Danielle Johnson

Here is their reply:

Dear Danielle,

Thank you for your email regarding our Women's Plus line. After much
evaluation the decision to remove Women's Plus from our stores was a
very difficult one, especially when customers like you are so passionate
about the line. Please be assured that your feedback will be shared with
our merchandising teams. We do, however, continue to carry Women's sizes
1-20 in our stores.

You are a valued Old Navy customer and we look forward to shopping with
you again soon.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at
custserv@oldnavy.com or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. If you are calling
from outside of the U.S. you may also reach us at 1-614-744-3543.

Sincerely,

Lindsy
Customer Service Consultant

Sounds like a big eff you to me.

I Couldn't Help Myself

I know I said I would wait until tomorrow to post (which it technically is) but I couldn't help myself. It also helps that I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night. Sigh.

I took advantage of my time at home alone and caught up on a few of my current favorite shows.

First on the list was The Real Housewives of New York. Am I the only one obsessed with them? Them being all of the Housewives of every city. Call it smut, call it scripted, call it whatever you want. I LOVE it!

It makes me sad that Bethenny and Jill aren't friends anymore, but between you and me, I am completely and utterly Team Bethenny. I've always loved her because I think that we're a little bit alike and this year is no different. I used to be a fan of Jill Zarin, but not so much anymore. I think she's changed a lot in that she's a lot more gossipy. In fact, the past few episodes (maybe even since the beginning of the series started again) she has outright asked for "the gossip." Well, dear, no wonder B thinks you need to get a hobby. I still hold out a little hope that they'll reconcile. OH! OH! I almost forgot. Jill did something during Ramona's ceremony that drove me insane. She complained about there not being some sort of hors d'oeurve situation going on. I can't stand when people feel they have to find something wrong with a function they are attending. Even more, I can't stand when they feel the need to voice their opinions. You want to think it? Fine. But for the love of Pete, don't say it out loud. Ugh. It makes me physically cringe.

Next on the list was So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD). It pains me to say it, but I think I'm loving this season less than I loved the last, and that was minimal at best. I don't know why, but I don't get as excited about it as I once did. There haven't been any standout favs for me just yet. I'm really sad that Teddy didn't make it. Again. Not sure yet if I'll be watching the next season to see if he comes back.

Summer is my least favorite season for 2 reasons:

1. it's hot as all get out (I live in FL)
2. all the best shows take a break

I most excited for OTH to come back.

I feel like I have so much to say, but I don't want to make this into a novel. Perhaps what I'll start doing is carrying around a notebook and making notes of what to blog later. If not, I'll forget and it will forever be lost in time.

New Beginnings.

This is roughly my 80th attempt at blogging. I always have a urge to start one depending on what new things are happening in my life, but then get overwhelmed at the thought of having to update so often. Most of my other blogs have at least one, but no more than 3, posts. If I really stopped to think about it, I'd realize there is no pressure to write because the likelihood that I will have followers is probably slim. So really, I'm only writing for myself. And that's okay. On the off chance that someone decides to pay attention to anything I have to say, I would like to apologize ahead of time if I slack off a little. I'm going to make a commitment, right now, to blog no less than 2 times a week. Sometimes more, if my week gets really exciting.

I'm going to end this entry here but I do have somethings I'd like to talk about, which I will most likely be doing tomorrow.