Countdown to a New Chapter

In 14 days, I will be on a plane to start a new life. I shouldn't be nervous; after all, I'm going to live with my best friend, but I haven't been able to shake the feeling. Then sitting at work today I realized its because it'll be the first time in 8 years that I've had to make friends.

I don't even know how to do that. It's different as a kid because that's what kids do. In high school, it was hard at first because everyone knew each other since 1st grade, but when I moved to Okinawa it was easy because we were all kids in a foreign land. Same with going to college. This is the first time as an adult that I will be the new kid.

I hope I can find a place at the lunch table.

Is This a New Record?

Two posts in two days? Has this happened before?

I usually write on 2 occasions: 1) something amazingly funny has happened and I have to share or 2) I'm incredibly stressed out. If you guessed that is a time #2, congratulations. You win.

I know just yesterday I wrote about how excited I am to move, and I still am, but I'm also worried. And when I'm worried, I don't sleep. Good thing I'm taking vitamins because all this stress is bound to make my hair fall out :(

I've been up since about 3am, watching Teen Mom 2 and worrying about my (read: our) future. I finally sat down to do some LSAT studying--story of my life. Which kind of got this ball of worry rolling. I still don't feel prepared enough to take it next month and do well enough to get into school this fall. However, if I don't take it now, I would have to wait until NEXT YEAR to apply for (and hopefully start) school. It might not seem that bad but not only will I be 30 this year, I'm also getting married in 6 months.

I know plenty of people get married and go to school and blah blah blah, but I feel like my time is running out. The logical next step after marriage for me is to have children. Although I don't plan on making this an immediate step, I would like it to happen within the year after our wedding. Law school is at least another 3 years and I feel that having a child while being a full-time law student is a less than ideal situation.

But then that leaves me with, if not law school, then what?

I never thought I'd be in this place. Growing up, I figured by this time in my life, I'd be good at something. Anything. But I'm not. I have no real skills to speak of and I don't have a career; I just have jobs and feel that I'm floating around trying to find something to do and it's becoming a huge waste of time. I started out with psychology and then decided I didn't want to go farther with that. Then I did entertainment business but trying to get an in with no experience is damn near impossible. Law has always been in the background but after 2 failed LSATs, I'm not really looking forward to getting back on that horse.

I have to do something. I want to be able to help my future husband support us, I want to give my children the best life possible, I want to love (or at least not loathe) what I do, and I want to feel like I can breathe.

Now wonder I can't effing sleep.

Today is where my book begins

I have taken one step closer to starting my new life. I turned in my notice to work and by the end of this month, I will be joining my fiance in Washington. I absolutely cannot wait to get there; I just wish it were HERE already. I should be wishing that time would go by a little slower, since I have about a million things to do between now and then, but my need to be with him and beginning our lives together overrides that.

(I was going to insert a cute picture of us, but can't figure out how to make it not show up at the top of the page)

In other news, look for an update post regarding "THE WAX." I'm due for a touch up around the first week of February. Should be interesting, to say the least.