Day 3

Annnnnnnnd scene.

I did it. I ate.

Let me back up to day 2. Shortly after that entry, Stephen and I sat around throwing back and forth to eat or not to eat. We were starving and delusional and not in our right minds.

Okay, sorry for the dramatics. We weren't actually starving (obvi) but we were pretty hungry. And talking about food and thinking about it, I just couldn't hold out anymore. As much as I would like to blame this on him, it's my fault. I'm the only one of us that controls what I do and I could've fought through it and stayed strong, but I just didn't. So we went to Whole Foods and got salads. And organic popcorn. Then we came home and ate said salads and popcorn. And maybe a Girl Scout cookie or two.

I should've stopped at my salad but once I tasted the forbidden fruit, the floodgates were open and I couldn't stop. I also probably should have started over again on day 3 (technically day 1) but again, I had a taste of the good life and wanted more. So yeah. I ate again yesterday. A strange thing happened though. I pointed out to Stephen now that I'm eating again and we have all this bounty in the house (because contrary to what some people do, we did not get rid of all the good food in the cabinets and refrigerator), I didn't really want it. I actually felt like my body was craving the juice and once I made some and drank it, I was satisfied. So I made it two more times.. When I got up this morning, I thought about starting fresh today. Then I showered and changed my mind. Then I went and sat forever at the lab to drug test and changed my mind again. However, I'm currently eating some trail mix while I type, so I guess it changed again.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even going to confess. I thought no one would even notice if I just skipped over entries. But then I awoke this morning to a message on FB telling me that I was inspiring and I thought "well, I can't be both inspirational AND a liar." So thank you, MM, for keeping me honest.

Who knows? Maybe this will still inspire someone to give it a try and they'll reach their goal. Maybe someone will try and stumble like I did, but read this and know that sometimes that happens. Either way, I hope I've helped.

Day 2

I started today with it not being that bad. Now that I'm at the end of the day, I want to slap anyone that talks to me.

I can't really figure out what it is that's annoying me. I can honestly say I'm not really hungry; it's probably just that I miss the act of consuming food. I am a foodie to the core. I love going out and trying new foods, I love flipping through menus and reading the descriptions of food, I love absolutely everything about food and now I can't have ANY. Ugggghhhhh.....

Thank God for my fiance because without him, I would be cramming my pie hole full of tacos right now. We did, however, have a 10 minute debate as to whether or not we wanted to throw in the towel. A friend asked me today why I was doing this and my answer was 1) I'd like to lose a couple pounds and 2) I just want to see if I can. It's the second part that's keeping me going right now. I know if I stop I'll feel like a failure and that I don't want. I just hope I can remember that tomorrow.

Day 1

I'm almost hesitant to say that day 1 wasn't so bad because I don't want to trick myself into thinking these next 6.5 days will be easy. But, in all honesty, it really wasn't that bad.

For breakfast, I had a spinach and green apple juice and Stephen had a carrot and apple juice; mine tasted like fresh cut grass and his was a lot better. It got harder once he went to work because I didn't have anyone to distract me from thinking about all the delicious food I can't eat, but even then it wasn't terrible. Something I didn't realize is that you should have a juice every couple of hours; when you've been a lifetime "dieter" like I used to be, my mind immediately switched back to trying not to eat for as long as possible. I definitely don't suggest that and tomorrow I will be juicing every couple of hours.

I felt bad for Stephen because while I got to sit at home and sleep away the urge to eat, he had to go to work. At Barnes and Noble, which is connected to.....Starbucks. Yeah, I don't think I would've made it if I were him, but he stayed strong and I'm so thankful he is willing to go along with this because without him, I would've caved by now.

I'm praying that tomorrow goes like today, except about 20% easier.

7 day cleanse

Last night, the fiance and I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It was quite eye opening and inspiring. Long story short, it's a documentary about a guy who at 40-ish, was annoyed by how many medications he had to take due to his ailing health. He decides to heal himself from the inside out by going on a 60 day juice diet. He also traveled to different states to talk to people about how what he was doing and to find out about their health and eating habits. Along the way, he meets a trucker who is morbidly obese and inspires him to do a cleanse of his own. Watch it on Netflix.

Anyhow, it got me thinking about my own health. I've been doing very well with my weight loss but I feel that, especially within the last month, I have been doing not so well. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I sit at home every day waiting for someone to call and offer me a job. Which, if you think about it, should probably work the opposite way. I have ALL DAY to work out, as opposed to a few select hours before or after work. However, trying to break the bad eating habits that I've fallen back into is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

So the fiance and I are embarking on our own juice diet/cleanse. We'll be starting out with 7 days though; not eating for 60 days might make me kill someone. I will attempt to do a day-by-day account of our progress. Assuming I don't pass out.