Be Careful What You Wish For

I've only been in the city for 2 1/2 days, and already I'm feeling overwhelmed. My thoughts are all over the place and I hardly know which one to talk about first, so I'll just start at the beginning.

Monday

- I arrive at the airport, fully expecting my cousin (RJ) to be there because she's known for about a week and a half that I was coming. she calls to ask me to take a cab to her place b/c there was "too much traffic and I didn't want to make you wait." Traffic? So that means you waited till the last minute to try to leave to pick me up? Or wait. No, you must have been on the bus and saw all the traffic ahead of you. At which point you got off the bus and went back home? Oh, you mean you never even bothered leaving your house? Yeah, I got it.
- I get to my RJ's apt. and get yelled at by the cab driver because my cousin is taking too long to come downstairs and he's blocking traffic. Can't get out yet because he wants his money and my cousin is the one paying for it. I have to yell at her to hurry the hell up.
- Apartment is what I expected for NY (and for my cousin): small, dark, slightly ghetto.
- RJ's daughter comes home from school to inform her that the woman from whom she is subleasing her apartment (C) doesn't want her there anymore, is tired of her being there and sleeping in her bed and watching her cable (her words). RJ decides she needs to get to the bottom of this.
- I'm super hungry at this point but is there food in the house? So RJ comes downstairs with me to get pizza. At which point she asks me if I can buy her daughter a slice, too. Sigh. Annnnnd it starts. I don't know if I've mentioned this in a previous post, but one of the reasons I did not want to stay with family is because they are quick to ask "can I borrow $____". But fine, I do it because what am going to do? Eat in front of my cousin while she's hungry? No. Then, RJ asks if I have any money and I tell her no. At which point she asks if I need to go to the bank. I told her no, I'd be okay until later to get some. Turns out she wasn't asking for me, she wanted to "hold" $20 to go to the store. So I told her, nope, sorry, I have no money. She then proceeds to ask for my change from the pizza to go to the store. After giving it to her (against my better judgment) she asks no less than 4 more times if I have another $1.
- C and her daughter come to the apartment and decide to spend the night. Now, I don't know how subleasing works in NYC, but in FL, the owner of said sublet DOES NOT LIVE IN THE APARTMENT WHILE LEASING IT OUT TO SOMEONE ELSE. I don't usually like to call people ghetto, but C is as ghetto as the day is long. I knew immediately I would not be staying there for the duration of my stay. I made a million phone calls and sent message and finally found someplace else to stay.
- Icing on the Monday cake: C washes her daughter's shirt and hangs it to dry. Over the gas stove. With the burners on. ALL NIGHT. Smart, right?

Tuesday

- Went to my internship interview. I was very proud of myself for not getting lost on the subway. I got the internship!! I then headed to meet my grandfather and we did some walking around on Canal St.
- After leaving my grandfather, I headed to RJ's apartment. She wasn't there, but told me she would be home in 30 mins. 2 hours later, she finally gets there.
- I am LIVID
- I tell her I'm going to stay with a friend. She seems a little upset, but too bad.

Wednesday

- I wake up in a non-hood apartment and head out to my first day. I thought I was doing this great job, until I discover I was doing it wrong. As a result, I was at work until about 7. I finally get back to my friend's (JP) apartment and am ready to crash. Instead, JP and I drank sake, went out for sushi, drank MORE sake, at which point i threw up and went to bed. Awesome : /

Thursday (today)

- I attempted to sleep in while JP went to work, but I got up at the crack of dawn anyway. JP and I went out for pizza and then she left to go to her bf's apartment. My plan was to do a little exploration, but instead I cried on the phone to SD. I miss him so much, it hurts. And it makes being here a little less fun. Sure, I'm in the amazing city and there's so much to do and see, but it's no fun if I have no one to share it with and to get excited with when I find something new. It's not even just SD, it's not having ANYONE. I have a friend and many acquaintances that live here, but everyone works so I'm still by myself. It makes me miss home and I've cried for a good part of the day. A friend of mine told me that I should wait until the weekend and then see how I feel. In the same breath, she asked when I was coming home because she can hear it in my voice. She was joking, but she's not the only person to say that. When I talked to my dad, he said I don't sound excited to be here and that I'm not the same bubbly person on the phone as I usually am.

Maybe they're right. Maybe this dream is not for me.