Well, That Was Short

How many of you just thought "that's what she said"? Don't lie.

Anyway, it's been a little while since my last entry and a few things have changed since then. First, since I didn't do it Monday, here is my list of things I'm learning in New York:

1. People here LOOOOVE their dogs. I can't turn around without tripping over one. From what I've seen, the dogs of choice are Yorkies and French Bulldogs.
2. Getting off of a train that is too crowded and waiting for the next one because, surely, that one will be less crowded? DOES. NOT. WORK.
3. New Yorkers that have to walk with newbies get grouchy. I'm sorry. I'm not used to walking 500 miles.
   
4. Although those jeweled sandals that are all the rage right now are super cute and a good item to have, unless you have hardened NY feet, they are not conducive to walking long distances. Or short distances, if I'm being completely honest.
   
5. The only thing that makes a NY hot dog a NY hot dog is the water it's cooked in.
6. Sweating is okay. Everyone is doing it.
7. Not every place takes debit. Most people might be thinking "well, duh" but for someone like me, who almost never carries cash, this took some getting used to.
8. Cabs have a minimum speed of 80 mph.
9. No one actually waits for the crosswalk to turn green. It's basically a giant game of Frogger that everyone is playing.
10. And the most important thing I've learned is that although New York is an amazing city to visit, it's not the place for me to live.

Which brings me to today. I have returned to Orlando 2 weeks earlier than anticipated. I didn't once doubt that I needed to come back home, but I did doubt when I should return. Initially, I felt that I should maybe wait it out until it was time for me to go to Vegas. However, I ultimately decided it wasn't necessary. Many people have asked (and will probably continue to ask) how do you know already? Don't you think you should give it more time? What about it don't you like?

The list of answers to those questions is pretty long and, quite frankly, I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. The best (and shortest) way to sum it up is this: when you know something is (or isn't) right, you know. I think most people are as in tune to their emotions as I am, but they allow other things to influence their decisions. Me, not so much. And come on. How many people do you know that constantly say they want to try something and wish they could go somewhere, and do nothing about it?

Veni, vidi, not so vici, but I tried.

Stop This Train/ I Want to Get Off and Go Home Again

That plays in my head every time I step into the subway. The whole song doesn't fit how I feel, just that line.

It's pretty late and I should be sleeping but 1) I have to wait up for SD to call me and 2) I can't sleep when I'm upset, so writing it down should help.

I am SICK AND TIRED of people trying to tell me what to do. I have pretty much decided that after I leave NYC for Vegas, I will not be returning. Yes, I've only been here a little over a week, but so what? I know in my heart what's right for me and what's not and, really, that's all that matters. I mean, I know I don't like cooked broccoli. Do I need to eat it for 3 months to know for sure? No.

Okay, so maybe broccoli isn't on the same level. Then let's compare it to a relationship. I knew within the first few weeks of being with SD that this was something I wanted to stick around for. Should I have waited 6 months and then made that decision? No, because it's not necessary. People process thoughts and emotions differently and I'm sorry that I can do so faster than you. Actually, that's not true. I'm not sorry.

I have shared these thoughts (the ones about not returning) with a few people before writing this post and I was met with mixed reactions. Some had the nerve to say that I was only going back for SD, or that I need to stay here for a year or so to really get the feel of it. First of all, no. I am not going back FOR HIM. Do I miss him? We all know the answer to that. HOW.EV.ER. Orlando is home to me. Or I should say it's the closest thing to home for me, considering I spent the last 8 years of my life there (the rest were spent moving somewhere new every 3 years). So even if he weren't there, that's where I would be going. Second of all, I find it amusing that this is coming from the same people whose first question when I decided to come to NY was "what about SD?" Sooooo.....I should have been considering him and his feelings when moving away from him, but going back should only be about me? Where is the concern for him now? Oh. Okay. That's what I thought.

Even if none of that were true and my decision to not stay in NY was completely and utterly based on wanting to be with him, IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. Sure, you're entitled to your opinion but if you only have negative things to say, keep it to yourself.

To those people, I say: "Bitter, party of one. Your table is ready."

I will admit, I toyed with the idea of staying because of lame reasons like I don't want people to think I'm a quitter or that I'm giving up. I keep having to remind myself that I'm not doing anything for anyone but myself. The only people's opinions I care about are my mom's, my dad's, and SD's. Anyone else can go fly a kite.

Another thing that I mention (and it gets overlooked) is that staying here is dependent upon getting a paying job. If I don't have one, whether or not I want to stay will be irrelevant. I have applied to NBC and CNN here in the city and we'll see what happens. Will I feel the same way about my decision in 22 days? Probably. Is there a slim possibility that could change? Always. But the way I can tell this is the right decision is that I have no inner turmoil about it (starting a sentence with a conjunction still kills me, but sometimes I can't help it). I'm not going back and forth asking myself "what if?" and whether or not I am sure. Getting a good job here is the only thing that will make me stay.

I also have a lot to say about my internship as well, but I think I've done enough raving for the night.

First Full Day in NYC

I arrived yesterday evening around this time, thus bringing me to my first full day. Last night was pretty rocky, I'm not gonna lie. If there are any Kappas reading this and you're in NYC, please check your LinkedIn discussions. I posted a new one.

Anyways, I had an interview with an internet marketing company today and (yay for me!) I got it. I start tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about this. Although it is unpaid so I will have to be finding a part-time job, I couldn't be more excited right now. This will be my first experience working with something related to my degree. Plus, the office is pretty sweet. They have an old school Nintendo. I know. I got stoked about it, too.

Afterward, I went to visit my grandfather at his job and we walked around Canal St. in search for the perfect bag. I didn't find a perfect one, but I found one that will do. I'd post a picture, but it's really not all that glamorous.

I'll be moving to new (temporary) living quarters tonight and I'm not sure if I'll have internet access there. But I'll definitely try to make it to a cafe or something because I need to get more into depth of my night from hell aka why you should NEVER stay with family.

This Much to do, thismuch time

I finally leave tomorrow to start my NYC adventure. I still have so much to do because, of course, I waited until the last minute. It didn't seem like that much prepping needed to happen but I was wrong on that one. I haven't even begun to pack, there are still toiletry items I need to pick up, some clothes, and I'm still on the hunt for what I'm referring to as the "perfect New York bag." I am going to admit something which will probably get my woman card suspended: I'm not a fan of purses, handbags, clutches, etc. I use them because I would look silly carrying everything in my pockets, but I'm very particular about the comfort they provide me. My purse must fit neatly under my arm and the straps tightly on my shoulder. I won't stand for them slipping down all the time. However, for some reason, I feel the need for an across the body, large carrying space type of bag. I've never been to NYC without my mother and when with her, she would always take cabs. I won't be raking in that kind of dough (yet) so I'm going to need a bag that can accommodate a change of shoes. I can't very well tromp around the concrete jungle with heels on. Plus, I hate heels.

Which reminds me, I also need to find a new pair of ballet flats. I'm working on packing things that I can wear a million different times with different outfits, to avoid having a 200lb bag. The flats are wonderful because I can wear them with dresses, jeans, and work attire, with the added bonus on not teetering around on sticks.

Walmart, Target, Payless, Lane Bryant, Ross.

Oy. My head hurts just thinking about it.

Start Spreading the News

I finally let the rest of my world i.e Facebook friends, in on my NYC travel. Initially, I wasn't going to; I was just going to text those people I felt needed to be in the know. When I realized how many people that was, I just went to cyberworld. The reaction? Exactly as I thought it would be.

Most people just wanted to wish me well, as this is something I have been wanting to do for quite some time. Then there were those who, although we don't spend a lot of time together, all of a sudden want to make sure we meet up before I leave. Really? I already haven't seen you in about 6 months, so why does it matter?

But the biggest annoyance of all were those who wanted to know how I was going to afford this. That is definitely on my pet peeve list. Honestly, I wanted to say "it's none of your damn business" but instead I kept it classy. For pete's sake. I think it's extremely tacky to ask people how they are affording something or how much they spent on something. I would NEVER do that. Have I wondered sometimes about friends that are always traveling but unemployed? Of course. Do I ask them? Absolutely not.

Common sense really isn't that common.

I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now

I WISH:

1. I was more involved in my sorority. I've never been to Convention or Leadership Academy, but I'd really like to know what goes on there.
2. I spent less time being unhappy with my looks and more time embracing my good qualities.
   
3. I had done more things on my own when I was younger. Maybe then at 27 I wouldn't be terrified to venture out on my own.
4. I worked out more.
5. I had a job/steady source of income. I haven't been able to support myself for a while, and it's really making me depressed.
6. I had a hobby.
7. I was more creative.
8. I had a talent. So many of my friends are dancers, singers, musicians, artists, photographers, writers, poets.....the list goes on.
   
9. Soap Net would decide when they are going to play re-runs of OTH. First it's at 3 and 4, then it's at 2 and 3. PICK A TIME!
10. I had gone to law school right after graduating with my Bachelors.
    
11. I was more motivated to study for the LSATs now.
12. I could land an amazing job working in PR for MTV or Sony.
13. I was less scared and more excited about going to New York.
14. I had an easier time saying I'm sorry. There are quite a few people that need to hear it.
15. I woke up everyday thinking "today is going to be a good day."
16. I had a pit bull and a Yorkie.
17. My hair would grow. I didn't realize how much it didn't grow until my boyfriend pointed out that he had known me a year and it was the same length as when we met. I hate having to wear weaves and fake ponytails.
18. I didn't dwell on the past so much.
    
19. I dressed better. I recently cleaned out my closet and I was very sad when I saw what was left. I own one LBD. ONE. Uno. If I get invited to a lunch, networking event, or anywhere that requires dressing in anything other than jeans, I'm screwed.
20. I was as confident as I let people think I am.
    

I Want to Be a Part of It!

As you may have noticed, my blog is newadventuresofolddanielle. I created it in hopes of actually having new adventures and it has come to pass. Next Monday, I will be heading to New York City!! I have dreamed of moving there for as long as I can remember but figured it might be better to test the waters first. I will admit, though, that I'm equal parts scared and excited.

I know several people who currently live there and they love every minute of it. They go on about how there is so much to do and see, the people are nice, etc. etc. My mother, however, paints quite a different picture. Normally, I would chalk it up to her being worried about her baby girl but she was born and raised in the city, so she's speaking from experience. She had quite a lot to say about how to avoid dangers. In a nutshell, I am to:

1. act like I know where I'm going and what I'm doing at all times
2. don't ask anyone for help, unless it is a cop or a bus driver
3. if someone tries to talk to me, give them a look that let's them know "bad idea"

She repeated over and over again how New Yorkers don't let anyone get close to them because you never know if they're just trying to find a way in to kill you. Geez Mom, thanks. I think there are two different types of New York. There is the city my mom is from: 125th street area, Harlem, bums sleeping in the stairway, etc. Then there is "The City" type city: upscale, clean(ish), friendly people and safety.

I want to go to that New York. I want to enjoy my stay, soak everything in, and not fear for my life. It probably doesn't help that when I was 11 and visiting my grandmother in NYC, I saw a man get stabbed across the street.