Bridezilla Moment #1

Me: When I ordered my dress in December, I was told it would take 2-3 months. Now I'm being told it won't be here until May. What is the problem?

Sales lady: Yes. Um, well, it seems like this style takes a little bit longer to come in.

Me: A little bit longer is an extra week or 2. Not 2 months longer. And furthermore, this type of information would have been helpful before I ordered the dress because it probably would have influenced my decision to buy, but I'm sure you knew that already.

SL: It's supposed to be shipped to my store, but if you'd like, it can be sent to you instead and you can get someone to alter it, if needed.

Me: Remember that time I said I moved to Seattle? Yeah. So.....should I wear my dress on the plane back, or stuff it in my suitcase? No. I will not be flying back and forth to Orlando a million times. I will be there in March and I will be there in July for my wedding. So I don't care who you have to call and what deals you have to make, but you need to get my dress there before March 18th.

SL: I can try to call the designer, but-

Me: Give me the number.

SL: They don't-

Me: Give. Me. The. Number.

SL: I-

Me: I'll find it online.

I could deal with wanting filet mignon but having to get flank steak. I could deal with ordering orchids but getting hydrangea. I could even deal with someone showing up with an extra +1. But my dress? Fuck this up and I will skin you to make a new one.