I dread getting up every day. That might sound slightly suicidal, but I assure you, I am not.
Every day is the same. I get up, make SD coffee, he goes to school, I jump on the computer, and then spend the rest of the day watching t.v. and looking for jobs. I never go anywhere because 1) why waste gas and 2) even if I drive somewhere, I have no money to do anything. Some less enlightened friends of mine seem to think I'm living the life. Uh, no. Not having money is not living the life. Being confined to the house is not living the life. It's not unlike being in a supermax prison; for about 23 hours a day, I'm stuck inside. I can't even get a hobby because most hobbies require some form of payment.
So again, let me be perfectly clear. I am not living the Real Housewives life. Being taken care of is not all it's cracked up to be. I hope I don't sound ungrateful because I'm quite aware of how blessed I am, but there's something about being able to take care of yourself that provides a real sense of security. God forbid something happens to SD, or we don't work out, or anything, and talk about being SOL. I don't even know what I would do and that scares the crap out of me.
Did I mentioned I'm so bored I've started having conversations with myself? Out loud. Yeah, it's that bad. Sigh.
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